Most mornings I write a simple to-do list on my kitchen chalk board to remind myself not to sit as soon as I get home from work. Especially in the winter it’s hard to motivate myself to move when I’m cooking dinner and it’s dark outside. I want to cuddle under a blanket and watch TV all night because 6:30 feels like 10:30.
This morning I’m jotting down my list and get a text from a friend – something about dinner this week. I can’t, I have things to do – dishes, laundry, floors to vacuum, bank run for cash. “Well can’t Ryan do that this week?” she responds “We haven’t seen each other in forever!”
I suppose my husband could do the laundry and the dishes, he certainly has in the past and he is quite capable of these tasks. But here is the thing — he has a to-do list of his own. My husband’s to-do list often goes so unnoticed that even I need a reminder. My husband fixed my bathtub stopper this week, hallelujah! My husband fixed a closet door last week that I didn’t even notice until this morning. My husband maintains our house – which isn’t as repetitive as dishes which have to be done nightly. So it may not seem to those looking in that he has much of a to-do list where as I’m always cleaning my kitchen. But, we each have roles in this relationship, and we each understand our place to make the gears turn appropriately. I am somewhat intimidated by the snow blower, so I don’t use it. In return for him snow blowing the driveway I pack his lunch and brew his coffee, I take care of the dog and make the bed. All these items need to be done by someone, why not me?
My husband’s to-do list is often more forward thinking than mine. I think about what needs to be today to make tomorrow better – while my husband is thinking about what needs to be done today to make this year better. He’s thinking about a new roof on our house to protect us from weather. He’s thinking about his 401k which took another dive. He’s thinking about how he’ll pay off my student loans when I’m home raising his children.
So, yes, my husband could do the dishes, but he has much more important things on his plate then the ones in the sink.
Until next time,
Photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/nikkibuitendijk/