Life will always give you little moments to practice being a submissive wife but you must watch for them.
This last year I spent 12 weeks in agility classes with my dog. I was her handler. Even the instructor did not give Pepper commands or instruction. My husband sat in the spectating area cheering us on. It was a highlight of the year as I bonded and worked out with my pup.
I begged for this dog a few years ago, I’d never had my own. Most of the dog care falls on me – as will most of the childcare. That doesn’t mean my husband is uninvolved.
This past week both of us have had time away from work, spending the holidays with friends and family. The weather has been mild enough that we’re able to get outside with our dog and take longer walks.
This was one of those little moments.
My husband had the leash – but I had this mindset of being this dog’s handler. I train her, I am her alpha. So here we are, walking along, and she’s acting up. So I immediately go to correct her behavior. Thing is, I’m not holding the leash – my husband is. So that is not my job.
It’s not appropriate to correct the pup. He’s in charge, and he’s got this. But, I had that little voice in my head – telling me I knew what I was doing. I could do it better, quicker, smoother. I was her handler, I had trained this dog for 12 weeks. She responds well to me. That little cocky voice that says let me do it.
At some point, my husband and I are going to start a family. Most of the child raising will be on me. I’ll be home all day with little ones. I grew up in a family daycare. My mom always had lots of kids in our house that she minded while their parents were at work. I have this knowledge about working with kids my husband does not. So how will it translate when we have kids?
Will I be a know-it-all who tries to take the leash back as soon as I see things aren’t being done the way I would do it? Or will I quietly walk next to him as he corrects the behavior? I know I would not have married Him if I did not feel he would make a good father. That’s what mattered.
The walks were without incident. Just lots of thought in my own head. But these little moments – these walks with our dog – give me the ability to practice surrendering for the larger events that we all know will come when children arrive.
Happy New Year,
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Cover photo credit ccho