Marriage · Personal Development

Your Husband Is Not A Mind-Reader

I caught myself telling my husband what he wanted to hear. And then, like a child, I was mad when I didn’t get my way.

It was something so small and simple – but I was just commenting to the other Wives about a Reddit post about a girl who did the same. And now I’ve caught myself doing it 48 hours later.

So on Reddit, this girl had a situation where a friend invited them to an event. Because of who would be at the event she was uncomfortable. She told her SO she’d be fine with it.

When he told me I said that I would be “fine with whatever we do” and that I can make an effort to get along with everyone, and he seemed visibly relieved.

She told him what he wanted to hear. He was relieved because he wanted to go, and he thought his girl was gonna suck it up and be mature about it.

She then goes on to say how she’s worried now he’ll want to go.

You literally just set your boyfriend up for failure. How can he make a good decision, or help ease your fear if he doesn’t even know your fear exists? You told him you were fine. You told him you’d suck it up. But you won’t. You’ll sulk when he decides the two of you are going. You’ll be uncomfortable and he’ll have no idea why. 

Last night I’m sitting on the couch after my post workout shower. This was more or less the first time since the morning I’d seen and had a chance to chat with my husband. He says “I’m going to go do X, do you mind?” I said, “I don’t mind.”

I minded.

And then I sulked because I thought he’d stay and chat with me. I hadn’t heard about his day, he hadn’t heard about mine. I was shocked he didn’t read my mind.

He spent the rest of the evening doing that activity more or less until I went to bed.

I pouted.

Like a child!

I was cranky – I went to bed cranky – I woke up feeling dumb. It wasn’t big (we didn’t fight he didn’t know my hamster was on overdrive) but it was something I could have handled differently.

The last few months I’ve been tired (more on that next week) and dealing with a health thing. It means I’ve been going to bed earlier than him. Ideally, we’d hang out – spend our time together – and then when I go to bed he can do his own thing. Play video games, surf the web, whatever projects he has going on.

So why have I not said those exact words to my husband?

Because no one is perfect. Because I’m still learning. Because sometimes even the best of wives fall into that trap of thinking their husband can read their minds.

Want your husband to read your mind? Tell him what you’re thinking. Truthfully.


Follow me on twitter IrisAndOleander, and don’t forget to subscribe if you like what you read.
Cover photo credit Pamela Jackson

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